Myths About Rape and Sexual Abuse

There are a number of existing myths about rape and sexual abuse that provide excuses for offenders to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Myths allow us to place the blame on the victim. They are also very useful in enabling men to continue to rape, as they hide the real truths about rapists, they serve to keep women silent, and affect the reactions of others, including the likelihood of positive support. It is important that survivors understand that we all have been subjected to these myths and it is ongoing work for each of us to be aware of what is a myth and what is not.

"Nice girls don't get raped"

Research indicates that no group of women is especially prone to rape: victims come from all ethnic backgrounds, age groups, and occupations. The Victim Survey carried out by Barrington, Stone and Bevan for the Justice Department shows that victims held a variety of job types and were of various marital statuses. All research on sexual abuse confirms that no one is safe from rape and sexual abuse.

"She asked for it"

By definition alone, no one asks to be raped. Anyone is entitled to say 'no' or change their minds at any time during sex. It doesn't matter what someone is wearing, where they are, what time of day they are out or what they are doing. Nothing someone does, says, or wears justifies, or makes them responsible for an act of sexual violence.

"Rapists are strangers"

The majority of rapists and sexual abusers are known to the victim, and are frequently family members (including grandfathers, fathers, stepfathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, etc.), friends, and colleagues. According to Rape Crisis statistics, almost half of the survivors (46.6%) contacting Rape Crisis Centres between 1992 and 1996 identified blood relatives as the offenders. Of these, 49.1% were identified as the survivor's fathers.

"Most rapes are committed in deserted streets on women who go out alone at night"

Rape Crisis statistics from between 1992 and 1996 show that more than two-thirds of the abuse reported by survivors occurred in the survivor's home, 29.4% occurred in the offender's home, and 8.7% occurred in public places, such as car parks.

"Women enjoy being raped"

Women do not enjoy being sexually violated. Rape is a crime that has devastating effects on the survivor, some of which may include physical injuries, a loss of trust in male/female relationships, fear of men, loss of self-respect, nightmares and suicidal feelings.

"Husbands can not rape their wives"

Husbands can (and do) rape their wives. This myth is based on the belief that a wife must obey and serve her husband and that she belongs to her husband. This belief is outdated and is now recognised by law.

"If she didn't want it, she would have fought back"

A woman can say no, fight, verbally defend herself, and still be raped. There are many reasons why some women do not fight back, including increased risk of harm, hurting someone she cares for or putting others at risk.

"Men are overcome by uncontrollable sexual urges"

In many cases rapists are reported as having no or virtually no erection during much of the attack. In addition, it should be noted that many rapes are premeditated and that men can stop themselves at any stage during sex. If, for example, if a police officer came across a situation where rape was occurring and challenged the rapist, it is highly unbelievable that the rapist would continue with the rape.

"Rapists are psychologically disturbed perverts or sex maniacs"

Findings from studies show that many rapists are married with relatively normal sex lives, and that the vast majority are actively involved in consenting sexual relations with other persons at the time of their offences. Only a small minority of rapists have mental health illnesses. Sexual perversion has nothing to do with their raping. The feelings that drive the rapist involve dominating, humiliating and terrifying the victim. There are a number of existing myths about rape and sexual abuse that provide excuses for offenders to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Myths allow us to place the blame on the victim. They are also very useful in enabling men to continue to rape, as they hide the real truths about rapists, they serve to keep women silent, and affect the reactions of others, including the likelihood of positive support. It is important that survivors understand that we all have been subjected to these myths and it is ongoing work for each of us to be aware of what is a myth and what is not.